Writer • Mother • Co-host of As Far As Anyone Knows Podcast
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In Selena: The Series, Selena’s hair is a major story arch. One scene, in particular, stood out to me. Selena goes to a salon the get her hair cut and styles it very short. This is the hairstyle she ultimately wears on the cover of the “Ven Conmigo” album. When I reflect on the series, the scenes about her hair were significant to me (and not just because the wigs were Party City quality). …


PACE YOURSELF

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“Pace yourself”

no, I don’t think you understand, that’s not a service I offer.

Pace myself? At what rate?

I have already folded myself into the smallest possible version of me for your consumption. Something you can digest.

And still

Too much

Too loud

Too smart

Too fast

What does it feel like when you recycle my ideas?

Is it like taking a deep breath on a crisp fall night?

Is it like finding something you weren’t really looking for?

Do you feel lucky to have it? Like you’re not sure what you did to deserve it, but…


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Beautiful rainbow colored balloons hug an impeccably dressed dessert table

A two-tier cake with a rainbow topper and a golden number one

The birthday girl’s spelled out in

Red

Orange

Yellow

Green

Blue

Indigo

And Violet

Rainbow cake pops

Rainbow sugar cookies

Two white dove cutouts elegantly resting on the balloon arch

What were their names?

I’m consumed by overwhelming silence

My shoulders lock into themselves

My mouth, trembling

struggles to open

My tongue curls into my throat

My throat, pregnant with the sound of your names, pushes you down as I try to utter

“B…b…”

“S…s..”

My eyes well…


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My baby cousin, Sebastian was in my arms. At the time, he was less than a year old. As he wiggled in my arms, I felt his blond hairbrush up against my skin; skin that is about a shade or two darker than his. Like many Dominican families, we all range in appearances. Many of the boys on my mother’s side are born with blond hair or light brown hair and usually, develop into dark brunettes in their pre-adolescent stages. Sebastian inherited these features, an inheritance my family considers a blessing.

Then it happened. It happens often. Someone said something…


How Loss Taught Me How to Rise

Trigger Warning. This post discusses pregnancy loss.

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THE SHOCK

Three.

One, two, three! Ready, set, go! Three little pigs. Third time’s a charm! The mother, the father, the holy spirit. Three primary colors. Daenerys Targaryen birthed three dragons. The number three is everywhere.

That’s why I was surprised by my own lack of comprehension when I heard the doctor say that there were three babies developing in my womb. How many? Three? What? How? What is three babies? A month prior, we were falsely under the impression that there were two babies, fraternal…

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